I woke up this morning and it wasn’t a struggle to breathe
I didn’t have to talk myself into getting out of bed once the alarm rang.
Even with the rain and cold it was easy, comfortable, and without thought.
If only you knew the process I went through every morning just to cope with the day before me of seeing you.
It is fifteen minutes of pure loneliness, frustration, and anger, because I know when I walk out that door I'm going to have to be the bigger person when you throw hate my way.
Fifteen minutes is all that I allow to build myself up so I don't get trapped in the possible darkness that you have created because my greatest fear is that if I allow any more time to pass you're going to become my suicide note.
I know I want to continue to wake up and see the sunrise,
I want to continue to see where my life is going to end up.
I want to continue to experience new things and gravitate to the familiar when need to,
I want to do so much more than you constantly robbing me of my joy of living.
Every night before I go to sleep, I picture the afterlife, but I hold onto the hope of a tomorrow because I won't allow your actions and words to become the ending to my story.
Sara
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