I.
How fearful I became the first time walking through its doors
Learning for a fact that I wasn’t a United States citizen
How the tears flowed fearful of deportation
Seeing a country I haven’t seen in almost two decades
Hearing a language that is no longer at the forefront of my mind
Lost in prayer, pleading with my Maker
Please don’t allow them to strip me of my identity
How fearful I became a second time
When I felt like a criminal when they placed my hand on the glass
Pressing down each finger separately until it was displayed on the screen above
How fearful I became a third time
When the same action had to be done again
Feeling more shameful than criminal because I was told incorrectly
How fearful I became a fourth time walking through its doors
Knowing I didn’t want to live the life planned
Out in Plan B
II.
Seven hundred and sixty days, seven hundred and sixty days
SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY DAYS later
I walk through its doors again
More fearful than any other point in time
III.
Chatter is all around and friendly faces greet me
Waiting in line to make sure every little detail is correct
Signing an oath with my given name my correct name
Allowing these chains that have bound me
To loosen up just a bit
IV.
It seems like a lifetime before family and friends enter the room
The replaying of the here from there starts
And it doesn’t stop until every fiber of my being
Is feeling some sort of emotion because it’s in the replaying of moments
I know this was never my job nor my fight
To become someone's daughter
I was chosen, disowned, left behind to get lost within a government system
All I have ever wanted, all I have ever needed
Was for someone to love me
I am tired of being lost I just want to be found and found for good
And have the comfort of safety surround me
V.
It begins the ceremony that will completely set me free
He starts to speak of all the countries represented in this room
But he forgets Russa
And that feeling of being lost resurfaces, but it’s quickly corrected
Then a another gentleman speaks
And it becomes white noise because I know my responsibilities
I’ve been here long enough
Just give me the paper that makes it all legal
In which all my rights are intact
I just want it to be over, I just need it to be over
And with a little more chatter and some song singing
I raise my hand and declare my allegiance to the United States of America
And with so help me God
After seven hundred and sixty days
SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY DAYS TOO LONG
I felt the long awaited calm
VI.
What a feeling it is to know
My greatest Goliath is no more
Hallelujah, hallelujah AMEN!
07.09.15
